A Lexophile is a person who loves words and word plays.


---I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

---Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

---Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now!

---To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

---The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

---A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

---When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

---The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

---The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

---A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

---A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

---A will is a dead giveaway.

---A backward poet writes inverse.

---A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion

---With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

---A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulting in linoleum blown apart.

---He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

---A calendar's days are numbered.

---A boiled egg is hard to beat.

---If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine !

---When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

---Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

---Acupuncture: a jab well done

::Bows:: I hope you enjoyed these, I certainly did.

*groans*

/groan

Oh Beldin, what do we do with you?

Sum day I'll be all groan up.

Word!

Beldin delivers puns with a bite, (i now eat my freshly served Belguim panini)

Two thumbs up

LOL!!@!!!!!!!!

some email funnies

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psychopath.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids.

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous
Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef..

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack , Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

Funny! I've heard some of these before but this one made me LOL:


Thanks for posting them!

at the police station here in Houston someone stole the toilet seats..the cops dont have anything to go on

"9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses."

Noice one.